|| Life || Sunday Updates #4

6/15/20



I've been silent for a while as I've let self-depreciation and self-doubt take over once again. I believe I've mentioned this before and I've said that I'm gonna work on getting better and not letting that get the best of me.

For example, this should have been posted on Sunday but it's Monday now and well the self-depreciation and doubt sent me spiraling a bit.

The world was smoking before with smaller fires spread around, some being put out and some sparking new one but now it's completely on fire. I thought that it couldn't get any worse and I will admit that was my first mistake. In early 2020 I learned that a friend of mine that I met in Japan had passed away to an unknown sickness which I am convinced she was one of the victims of COVID-19, all the deaths around the world from COVID-19, the unnecessary killing of black men, women, and children over the years and recently,  the continuous show of no love for black women,the unveiling of the systematic racism in the United States and the police brutality around the world.

Not only is 2020 the year of WTF but also the year of change and action. The people have shown that we are no longer accepting this treatment and demand change from our governments.

Through peaceful means...currently.

Additionally, with the recent events of more so, the events over the past four years made me reconsider what I wanted to study at graduate school. The events have drained me to a point where I hated what I had studied during my undergraduate career, made me feel as if I wasted my time, made me feel as if it wasn't worth it and that everything I've done up until this point was worthless.

But at the same time, I understand and know that giving up isn't an option. Giving up means failure and I've told myself and friends that failure is not an option.

With all the protests, petitions, and uproar for change I know that I need to change within myself to bring in positive energy and vibrancy in my confused and dimmed world. 

I know that I need to be ready to use my knowledge to help rebuild the US that's been left in shambles. Right now is the time I should be jumping headfirst into my studies to prepare for the change that's coming.

For the change, healing that's needed in this world, I know I don't have time for self-pity, self-doubt, comparison, any of that.

No more words, only action.

            • Consistency
            • Promoting + Marketing
            • Study Japanese
            • Maintain a healthy diet
            • Stressless





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